Remembering Carrie Fisher.

It wasn’t too long ago, I had just wished Carrie Fisher a happy birthday on here. And today, I am mourning the loss of one of my first “crushes” ever. In Empire Strikes Back, I had always wanted to be Han Solo, to have the best friend, the ship, the looks, the humor, and to have the princess that loved him. Carrie Fisher possessed a smile that radiated sheer joy. I admit, when Return of the Jedi came out, I was obviously even more attracted to this beautiful mysterious woman, who was suddenly showing a lot more skin.

2016 has been a year of many iconic people passing. But the loss of Carrie Fisher hits a lot closer to my heart. Star Wars awakened my imagination when A New Hope came out. And I vividly remember going to see Empire Strikes Back with my sister, and then Return of the Jedi (my older sister, falling asleep during the movie, and me being embarrassed). Carrie Fisher, Mark Hammill, Harrison Ford, and the rest of the Star Wars crew were my childhood icons. They were supposed to live forever.

When the news broke that Carrie Fisher had had a massive heart attack on her flight back to Los Angeles from London, and my wife had texted me, I was literally scouring the internet for updates, hoping to see an update that she had recovered, because 2016 had already brutally taken so many away from us. There was reports from her brother, that eventually surfaced, that she was no longer in critical condition and now in stable condition, but still hospitalized. I thought to myself – or perhaps hoped – that she would escape the cold clutch that had claimed so many already.

Tragically, a few days after the news of her initial heart attack broke, she would eventually leave this world to whatever awaits beyond.

Carrie Fisher has endured so much throughout her life, including being very open about the mental illness she would eventually come to suffer from (being bipolar). She, much like the character in Star Wars that she portrayed, was a beautiful, strong woman, and very open about her mental illness. There was no shame. Nothing to hide. She was a symbol of hope for those that suffered the same mental disorder. Much like, in the Star Wars movies, she was a beacon of hope.

My childhood crush may be gone.

But there’s nothing that’s ever going to take away her shining smile from my memory, or my heart. Where ever you might be, Carrie Fisher, May the Force Be With You – Always.
– Tawmis